It’s dirty work…

…but someone has to do it.

New Paltz Democrats held their nominating caucus for this November’s election back on Tuesday, September 11. They were so anxious to get out the good news about their slate of candidates that the results never appeared in any of the area newspapers (Times Herald-Record, Poughkeepsie Journal, Kingston Freeman) that regularly report on such august political happenings. The position of Party media commissar must have fallen vacant.

But I kept looking at the websites of those papers, every day. Alas, the exclusive had fallen by default to the New Paltz Times, which rushed the news out nine days later, in this Thursday’s (9/20) edition.

“Anticlimax” could not possibly capture the anticlimactic flavor of the reportage.

The Times stenographer present at the caucus buried the lead in the final paragraphs. The real item of the night is that Toni Hokanson, whose career with abortion industry leader Planned Parenthood has spanned two decades, was nominated for a second two-year term as town supervisor. Perennial all-purpose local Democrat and environmental radical Marion Dubois was “proud to stand here tonight” to nominate Toni.

(The Republicans, so out of touch with local trends, a week earlier nominated someone who has merely spent his career at IBM. Couldn’t they have found someone who, say, does fetal tissue research or animal vivisection to trump Hokanson?)

Terry Dungan, mayor of the village, seconded the nomination and exaggerated about the town-village relationship, “the biggest problems we face are ones we face together.” That’s funny because I never saw Toni or the town board anywhere near the Jason West problem, which was the biggest problem faced by New Paltz over the last few years.

Then the Times stenographer buried the second lead down around the story’s bikini line. An exceptionally kind-looking man (going by the accompanying photograph) was nominated for the seat left open on the town board by the retirement of the hysterical Kathleen Healey.

The news here was that former village mayor Tom Nyquist declared this apparently well-qualified man (a retired teacher of New York State history and government, a deacon at his church, and a dedicated foster parent) a “diversity” hire. David Lewis, who is a lifelong Democrat, is also apparently a gentleman and is not reported to have reacted to the diminution of being pigeonholed according to race.

But the good news is that old dogs can learn new tricks, as Nyquist managed to make use of the term “person of color” in a room chock-full of “persons of pallor.” So the former mayor has updated his lexicon to keep pace with all the latest advances in politically correct speech.

Perhaps Lewis’s “person of color” status was brought in to offset his active membership in a Baptist church. His views as a Baptist running on the same ticket (he got the nomination) with a lifer in the abortion industry were not solicited by the Times stenographer.

Hokanson, for her part, nominated someone by the name of Margaret Human for the town board. Human is a member of the Green Party and whether “Human” is her original or married surname or an affectation that she adopted was a question left unaddressed by the Times stenographer. Her views on human exceptionalism were not sought, but that might have led to an interesting discussion, given that she was nominated by someone with a career in the abortion industry. “When do you think human life begins, Miz Human?” No such luck from the stenography department.

In presenting Human to the convention, Hokanson said, “She doesn’t own a car, she walks or cycles everywhere and she is passionate about reducing our carbon footprint here in New Paltz.” Sorry, Toni, but “person of color” trumps “reducer of carbon footprint,” as you well know, with both being trumped in turn by “abortion industry management experience.” Human was not nominated. Priorities held.

Oh, the humanity.

Jane Ann Williams, who does a remarkably good job of impersonating a sensible person (I only question that it could be true because she actually sits on the town board) was re-nominated for her seat.

Jim Bacon, who just a year or so ago said he wanted to get out of town politics, got back in and won the nomination for the town justice position being vacated by the unlamented Judith Reichler. Deputy supervisor Kitty Brown, who can bring a special lack of sensation to any occasion, nominated Bacon with a nod to his success at competitive swimming as one of the reasons he should be elevated to the local judiciary.

Also nominated for town justice was SUNY New Paltz lifetime student Justin Holmes, who was found guilty by Reichler of harassing a college administrator earlier this year. No mention is made of who nominated Holmes, but he did get a nice parcel of 20 votes from the caucus of approximately 130 Democrats. Neither was mention made of his run-in with Reichler, who used an e-mail he had legitimately sent to the aforesaid college administrator as an essential element of the crime in order to find him guilty. That’s been covered earlier at this blog.

Phil Johnson was endorsed (he’s an Independent also endorsed by Republicans) for another term as highway superintendant. And the adorable and long-suffering Marian Cappillino was renominated for town clerk.

In one of the accompanying photographs Michael Zierler, who would have been the right person to nominate for supervisor, is seen standing next to the glamourous debutante who chairs the village environmental commission.

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