Upon a time
July 3rd, 2008Half-jokingly, but only half, at one point in the 1990s I began to refer to myself, with purposeful immodesty, as “the world’s greatest living detective.”
Why?
Well, that’s a complicated question. But a short answer is that I had drawn a detailed map of a very specific confluence of immediately present drug rings and the gendarmes, which was probably about 95% accurate. There is, of course, some good money to be made in drugs, and those with any sort of hand in the action need to be compensated. But, you see, I had had enough of dealers treating my neighborhood like it was their very own Oldsmobile dealership, and I began to pit the cleaner hands of authority against the dirtier hands of authority and what a lot of surprises that did bring.
Talk about the kabuki.
One thing that I learned is that cleaner authority, which is usually up the ladder, fears the praetorianism inherent to the authority on the street, so to speak. It’s quite remarkable how the contradictions multiply as the former tries to deal with the latter. And how the shadow commands that parallel the official structures know how to intimidate the official side.
Then came the intrepid Rudolph Giuliani (gosh, now I’ve given away the larger locale) and he danced the kabuki along the lines of “If you are dirty get clean or you’re gone and I am the Sheriff” and, of course, he meant it. The gendarmes were never purposely embarrassed, so as to not break their morale, but they were radically reformed. It required iron will and a real plan to get that done. While this corruption-reform thing is cyclical, Giuliani’s reform was built to last, and it pretty much has.
Why do I bring this up? Certainly not to discuss Giuliani and his success, but to emphasize that he knew what I knew about why the place was crumbling. He fixed it citywide, in fact, but in my neighborhood I was fixing it before he took office, and I had flung myself into it in ways that exposed me continuously to threats and harm.
In a way, I saw that not only as acts in self-interest, but as acts in service to civil society. And I saw that as something that I owed.
And during that time, one day in an empty church down the block, I asked God, politely but in blunt terms, why the hell I was doing what I was doing, and as soon as the question was formed in my mind an entire grade-school class of kids filed into the church from the adjoining school.
I didn’t know any of those kids, and wouldn’t recognize a single one of them if I ran into them today as adults, but they were in my neighborhood.
So, I stood the watch for them in that neighborhood for about four years, until the corruption was driven back into the shadows, off the sidewalks, and something happened that confirmed success: after a long absence mothers were again seen pushing strollers on the streets, taking their younger ones out and about. That was something that had all but disappeared a few years earlier.
You would probably never guess, to look at me, because I am a man of weak character, that I endured dozens of threats against my life and that the hang-up telephone call was a fixture in my daily routine. If you think some sort of purity played a role in it, think again. I often had to get goosed up with a few drinks before taking myself down to the street as I recited the Lord’s Prayer. I was always afraid, and no one was watching my back but me, and I did a lot of that.
But one thing that experience gave me was a peek over the side of civilization into that place where civilization has broken down. It doesn’t happen all at once, but it is always happening somewhere. In my case, it was happening right outside my door.
Friends would insist that Madam Vandam and I move, but we said no. That was our neighborhood. We lived there.